Starting the COnversation about sexual health

Confidential, Youth-Friendly Environment

  • Begin by explaining confidentiality and its limits.

  • Clarify what information is private and what may be shared.

  • Offer one-on-one time with the adolescent during each visit.

  • Reassure: “Your questions and experiences are safe to discuss here.”

  • Normalize the conversation — sexual health is part of overall health.

  • Revisit confidentiality if the parent/guardian is in the room.

  • Explain mandated reporting (harm, abuse, self-harm).

Inclusive Language and Respectful Communication

  • Use the patient’s name and pronouns, ask every visit to ensure these have not changed.

  • Use gender-neutral terms (“partner,” “they,” “your body”).

  • Ask open-ended questions: “How do you describe your gender identity?”

  • Avoid assumptions about gender, anatomy, or sexual orientation.

  • Maintain a nonjudgmental tone; show curiosity and respect.

  • Display visible inclusivity (rainbow symbols, inclusive brochures). 

Transparency and Privacy

  • Explain what is recorded in the health record and why.

  • Review what may appear on Explanation of Benefits (EOB) forms or patient portals.

  • Clarify that parents may see billing or procedural details, depending on insurance.

  • Offer to help youth navigate EOB privacy concerns where possible.

  • Use private communication channels (confidential phone/email if policy allows).

Asking and Reasking

  • Ask name and pronouns early in the visit and confirm later.

  • Re-ask privately if a parent or guardian was present earlier.

  • Normalize re-asking: “I like to double-check I’m using the right name and pronouns for you.”

  • Use consistent, correct terms once clarified. 

Sample Provider Scripts

  • “I ask all my patients these questions to make sure I give the best care possible.”

  • “Everything we talk about stays private unless I’m worried about your safety.”

  • “What name and pronouns do you want me to use?”

  • “Would you like to talk alone for a few minutes?”

  • “What does a typical relationship look like for you?”

  • “Do you have any questions about your body, sexuality, or protection?”