What is it to me as an LGBTQ+ person?

What is Sex? 

Key Concepts

  • Sex is any activity where people share physical intimacy, which can include emotional connection, pleasure, and trust. It can look different for different people and doesn’t always involve genitals or penetration.

    Sex can include:

    • Vaginal sex: When a penis or object is inserted into a vagina.

    • Anal sex: When a penis or object is inserted into the anus.

    • Oral sex: Using the mouth to stimulate someone’s genitals or anus.

    • Mutual masturbation: Touching each other’s bodies or genitals for pleasure.

    • Sexting: Sending sexual messages, images, or videos through phones or online platforms.

  • People of ALL genders and orientations can have sex in ways that feel right for them.

    Sex is not exclusive to romantic and/or monogamous relationships.

    Gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, queer, and asexual people may all experience intimacy in ways that feel right for them.

    People who are intersex, nonbinary or transgender may have sex in ways that affirm their identity and comfort level, which might include or avoid certain body parts or terms.

    LGBTQ+ people can have safe, healthy, and fulfilling sex just like anyone else. Risk depends on behavior, not identity. With communication, consent, and protection, sex can be safe and affirming.

  • Sex can be emotional, physical, playful, or intimate.

    It doesn’t have to follow a “script” or look like what’s shown in media.

    LGBTQ+ people often create their own definitions of intimacy that feel safe, affirming, and joyful.

    LGBTQ+ sex is normal and should not be treated as less than/made fun of/put down.

    Sex can include oral, anal, mutual touch, and other forms of intimacy. What “counts” is defined by the people involved. Emotional connection, pleasure, and consent matter more than anatomy.

  • Being gay, lesbian, bi, pan, or queer doesn’t mean you have to have sex, or that it looks a certain way.

    Orientation is about who you’re attracted to, not how you express intimacy.

  • Your gender identity doesn’t decide what kind of sex you have.

    People of all genders can have sex in ways that feel right for them. Sex isn’t just one thing, it can include oral, anal, vaginal, mutual touch, or other forms of intimacy.

    Sex may trigger gender dysphoria and trauma responses - be aware of this and acknowledge it with your partner.

  • STIs can be passed through oral, anal, and skin-to-skin contact.

    Use protection like condoms, dental dams, and gloves.

    Get tested regularly and talk openly with partners about health.

    If you have a uterus and ovaries and engage in sex that could lead to pregnancy, birth control might be important—even if you’re LGBTQ+. Birth control can also help with period management and hormone balance.

  • You deserve to feel safe, respected, and seen.

    Use language for body parts and actions that feel right for you.

    Communicate openly with partners about boundaries, comfort, and identity.

    There’s no “right age” or “right time.”

    Asexual and aromantic people may not experience sexual or romantic attraction—and that’s valid.

    You’re allowed to wait, explore, or decide not to have sex at all.