Supporting parents/gaurdians of LGBTQ+ Adolescents
Guiding Parents in Supportive Communication -
Encourage parents to listen first, acknowledge their own feelings, and validate the youth’s experience.
Suggest open-ended questions:
“How can I best support you?”
“Tell me how you are feeling about this.”
“What do you need from me right now?”
Normalize that sexual orientation or gender identity may evolve over time. Support is ongoing, not a one-time conversation.
Remind parents that small, affirming actions make a significant impact.
Reinforce that curiosity and patience are more effective than correction or instruction for the youth.
Supporting strategies to share when youth come out-
Affirming responses reduce depression, self-harm, and suicide risk among LGBTQ+ youth.
Encourage parents to express support verbally and through actions:
“I love you.”
“I’m glad you told me.”
“I’m here as you figure this out.”
Discourage parents from pressuring youth to prove their identity or disclose to others before they are ready.
Suggest that parents ask how they want to be supported, respecting the youth's autonomy in decisions about disclosure.
Reinforce that mistakes are okay, and the focus should be on connection and affirmation, not perfection.
Encourage parents to talk about gender beyond the binary as a normal part of human diversity. Affirm that identity can shift, expand, or clarify over time.
Help parents use affirming language at home.
Highlight gender euphoria (moments when the youth feels most themselves) as a positive guide.
LGBTQ+ youth are at higher risk for bullying, harassment, and identity-related stress - help them recognize and mitigate these.
Teach parents to watch for changes in mood, sleep patterns, school attendance, social withdrawal, or increased distress related to their body or appearance.
Encourage parents to ask directly but gently:
“Has anyone been unkind or made comments about your identity?”
“Are there places you feel unsafe or uncomfortable?”
When (not if - its expected & okay too) Parents are Struggling -
Normalize feelings of fear, confusion, guilt, or anxiety - they are common and expected. It is a grieving process and a big change
Encourage curiosity rather than correction: ask questions rather than giving advice.
Provide parents with space to learn without centering their discomfort over the youth’s needs.
Offer practical strategies for support: listening actively, validating feelings, and checking in regularly.
Refer parents to community, peer, or professional support spaces (PFLAG, parent support groups, webinars).
Emphasize that even small supportive behaviors significantly benefit youth mental health and safety.
If Parents are not supportive -
Prioritize youth safety — both emotional and physical.
Encourage confidentiality strategies, such as safe spaces at home, school, and clinics, and limit disclosure to trusted individuals.
Connect youth to affirming supports outside the home: peer groups, LGBTQ+ centers, crisis lines.
Avoid forcing youth to come out or discuss identity prematurely.
Provide youth with practical coping strategies: trusted adults, crisis contacts, and self-care resources.
Remind parents that support may develop over time, and they should maintain open communication whenever possible.
